I thought I knew what tired was before I came here. I remember days falling asleep on my knees as we held family prayer each night. Especially as I began high school and adjusted to waking up each morning for seminary at 5, adjusted to the increased mileage for cross country, and adjusted to actually studying for my classes. I remember weeks and months in college waking up at 5:30 to go for 10-15 mile runs with the cross country team and then staying up late studying and finishing up assignments and problem sets. Truly a demanding schedule. And yet, I can say with confidence that I have never felt so tired as I do each night as I crawl into bed at 10:30. Though I get nearly 8 hours of sleep every night, the work is exhausting. Exhausting in the very best way.
The thing is that when you give everything 100%, physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, the exhaustion arrives to another level. But for the record, I would not have it any other way.
I have learned that I am a person that really enjoys and looks forward to change. While perhaps others enjoy falling into a pattern week after week, I grow anxious, looking for new things for change. This sort of self discovery will serve me well I know. Professionally I know I will have to search for a career that allows me to explore, see and do new things, and not have the same set of tasks month after month and year after year. Change, newness, adventure, uncertainty.
Personally, I am doing well. Recently I have been thinking more of home than usual. I hope that everyone is doing well and looking for ways to lift others in simple and sincere ways. I hope no one is afraid of being different, of expressing sincere love and affection for those that surround them. That we do not fear goodness, but rather those things crude, cruel, and dark. That our sense of humor helps others to laugh and relieve themselves of burdens, but that we do not mock that which is sacred, innocent, or otherwise undeserving of our levity. I pray that we have the courage to be ourselves, remembering always our divine origin and potential. Live honestly and openly, most importantly with ourselves. Eliminating the hypocrasy that destroys self confidence and trust. That we live in a way that we feel comfortable looking our friends and aquaintances in the eyes without shame.
My dear friends, I thank you for your support and love. I thank you for all you do for my family while I am away and ask that you continue in this. You have my sincere gratitude and love.